Chris Whittaker

...They that wait on the Lord...

2007-03-18T13:50:00.000Z

I decided the other day that today (Sunday) would be a day for re-establishing my focus...

The last few weeks have been flipping hectic, and as you can see from my last post, finding time for God has been a struggle. But now the pressure's off a little - I have some time in the evenings as of today, now that most of the students have gone back home for the hols, and I really really want to spend some quality time with God... an hour in the morning, sorting out my focus for the day, praying for friends and a little bit of worship just doesn't cut it when what i'm looking for is intimacy...

It seems as though God agrees too... I felt Him speak to me in church this morning... I noted it down:

"Chris, it's not about Sunday mornings.

Wait for me. Wait for revalation of me. Wait for my Glory.

Wait for my voice.

If you want to hear me, then wait on me."

So like I say, a semi-rushed, fairly-structured, no-time-to-listen prayer time each morning just ain't gonna cut it any more.

I remembered recently just how good it is to spend a whole day with someone I love - and I really want to be able to find that place with God. So... enough blogging, time to start waiting and listening... :-)

It's a good job I don't have any other commitments today... phew!

God bless,

C

...Now it springs up, do you not perceive it?

2007-03-14T17:29:00.000Z

It's interesting... When times are hard, it often becomes (after the initial struggle) so easy to find God, because you often have no choice but to rely on Him, to find comfort in His arms, to cast all your worries and cares upon Him...

But when times get better again?

Therein lies the difficulty.

The last ten days have been SUCH a good time: work went well, I went to my first opera, the sun finally came out, I played my first game for the firsts lacrosse team and I really enjoyed some great friendships - spending time with one friend particularly...

I'm overcome by just how easy it is to forget to thank Him when he does everything you ask for, and more.

But I'm determined to keep my focus on Him. To stay in this place that He's led me into. To find out what these passions are that He's beginning to stir up in my soul. Most of all, to keep Him at number one in my heart.

I was reading the verse 'Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart' (Ps 37) earlier. It's such a famous verse, and I used to love making all it about me. But I was taught a few years ago what it meant... It's much easier to understand in the context of the following verse: 'Commit your way to the Lord; Trust in Him and He will do this.'

The light begins to dawn on what the original verse means - A follows B, not the other way round. When I delight myself in the Lord - love Him, worship Him, commit my life to Him, keep my focus on Him, then He will simeltaneously (sp??) be doing a deep work in my heart.

The 'desires of my heart' will be pretty similar to the desires of His heart. Which will be tied in with His perfect plan for my life.

Which will be pretty darn good.

Right, enough blogging for now.

God bless all.

C

..."I am doing a new thing"

2007-03-09T20:43:00.000Z

Seven weeks.

There's not really any way I can write down what's gone on in my life since my last blog. To be honest, if I could... well, suffice to say a lot of it is just for me and God.

What I will say is this: It was the light at the end of the tunnel. Eventually, God brought me out of the desert, but he did it through the fire - now I'm in a place where I can hear his voice again, he's waking up passions I had long-since forgotten, exciting new passions I hadn't ever imagined I would have, teaching me to pray 'like a dying man' and, most of all, making me so, so hungry.

There are about half a dozen people who I really need to express something to - over the last 2 months, spiritually the hardest of my life so far, you have stood by me in prayer all the way. You know who you are. I quite literally could not have made it to this place without your support. You've taught me the meaning of love, dedication and friendship, and I hope that someday I can be there for you when you need it, offering even half of what you've done for me.

So I feel more or less back on track - it feels like it's time to start blogging my life again!

God's asked me to keep my future fully open to Him... so, when I finish this job in just under 4 months, I have more or less no plans. No job, nowhere to live, not even a home town (folks are moving away from Cambridge). And, once the fear had subsided, I realised how comfortable I am in this situation - Me, the perpetual plan-maker... happy that the plan is 'no plan'. I think it's due to the excitement of what God may do...

Last of all... I've felt Him ask me a question recently. It's been asked to quite a few people, most significantly to one of my heroes of the faith. He doesn't want an immediate reply it would seem, I think He wants me to think about it:

Hoe feci pro te; quid facis pro me?

I'll let you know the answer when I find out what it is.

lux?

2007-01-16T21:18:00.001Z

So, as things start to feel even worse (Man, this whingey blog-style must be boring you - it's boring me!) I'm getting nearer and nearer to this point of desperation that was spoken over me. For those of you who i haven't spoken to about that, Joy (a prophet in our church) told me this a while ago:

"God wants you to be desperate for Him. It may well be that the reason that you're finding it hard to hear from Him is that He wants you to want Him more - to be in a place of desperate longing for His presence."

Those words felt more comforting than any words of comfort that have been offered to me about this situation. I don't know why, because, if you read between the lines it says this:

"If it's not over, it's probably going to get worse"

But nonetheless, it felt comforting. And I have a feeling that's because it's what God was saying.

So things have got worse since the last post. I've been quite badly hurt by someone who I trusted very deeply. And it's left me desperate, deep in my heart. for something. I'm sure that it is God that i am desperate for deep down, but I'm still struggling to put 2 and 2 together in my head.

But some very good friends have been praying for me, and offered me 2 things - i, a word from God about the situation, and also Psalm 42. I've spent quite a bit of time in there recently... but it was good to be offered it as an encouragement.... particularly:

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

Please let this be the light at the end.

Please.

Blessed Be Your Name

2007-01-14T13:54:00.000Z

A much-overused song in recent years... I get the feeling that the worship leaders in our church were starting to feel that it had got a little tired due to this overuse, and we haven't used it very much at all over the last year...

But we did today. And it opened up to a whole new level for me. I've always understood what Matt Redman meant by the 'road marked with suffering' and 'pain in the offering' lines, but it's not really meant anything deep to me when i've sung it bofore - it was always something of a promise to God that, if I was in a hard place, I would still worship Him.

As you can see from my past posts, my life isn't exactly great at the moment. spiritually, physically, relationally, sometimes it feels as though all the good stuff is crumbling around me. A lot of that is probably in my head. Or maybe it isn't. Still, the point is, it's hard to find good stuff sometimes. And sometiems when I think I've found something good, it goes away as fast as it arrives.

So why am i just doing more feel-sorry-for-myself ramblings? When I saw the words to this song up on the wall today, i had to think. I had to very deliberately say (in my head) God, I'm going to worship You now.

And there was pain in the offering. lots. I had tears in my eyes as a was declaring that God was good even though my life feels so shit, But it's the truth. Or what I've decided to believe as truth, at least.

I continue to look for a light at the end of the tunnel.

Facebook has blog-napped me!

2006-12-27T11:31:00.000Z

Sorry to all the avid fans of my blog... (there are probably none of you left by now!) but facebook stole me! Darn it, it's just so easy to use!

But anyway, I think I'll re-make my original New Year's resolution - do the blog thing!

The last 6 months have made my life really different... It's such a massive change going from student-hood to working life - and not just in the obvious areas, like regularly getting up early - but practically everything. Although I knew it'd be different, I honestly didn't expect that going from being a student to working in the Students' Union would be such a difference. A lot of it's been really hard... getting used to a routine in my spiritual life (as you can see from my recent posts), getting used to having some real responsibility, learning to balance the things I want to do, the things I'm expected to do, and the things I want to do and most of all having to work out how to say no to things that people ask me to do sometimes...

Having said that, I adore the job. People told me when I started: "Don't expect to see big results - If the work you do makes a change, chances are it won't happen for several years." But two of the main tasks I set myself at the beginning of the year seem to be happening. believe me, no one is more shocked than I!

Course Rep numbers are up from 180 (last year's number) beyond 360 (my uber-optimistic target in october) to over 450 (and still rising)!! So much of it is due to some of the inspiringly good staff members at the Union...

Also, the coursework feedback improvement system that Ben (the president) and I have been working on, and trying to persuade academic staff to adopt in their schools is being adopted in schools! Not all of them, of course, but we keep on being approached by staff - deputy heads, school managers and so on who want to know how they can improve feedback in their own schools! Which makes me very happy.

I tell you what though, I am SO glad of a week off! phew!

Stone Me, He's Blogging!

2006-11-07T20:25:00.000Z

Right, all you whingers! I'm blogging! I hope you're happy...

hehe...

There's a couple of reasons why i haven't been blogging over the last month or so - the first one is I havent been this tired ever in my life, and I usually have about enough energy after work to stagger home, eat food and crawl into bed...

The other is that spiritually, I'm finding life pretty hard at the moment - and writing deep, introspective blogs hasn't been tempting, because often i'm not liking what i see when I introspect at the moment...

As far as that goes, i'm more or less in the same place with God as what I described in my last blog, 5 or so weeks ago - finding it near impossible to dredge up the motivation to talk to Him.

Whenever I have prayed, (rare) it's been something like "God please help, I can't do this" or "Please give me some kind of revelation of You so I will want to seek You"... and, not that i don't think that He is helping in some way, but it's been very hard to see or feel anything in terms of help - so I continue round in that viscious cycle of low motivation to talk to Him...

Almost everyone who i've spoken to about this has offered very similar advice - "you need to discipline yourself into spending that time with Him every day" but I just find it SO freakin hard - I have no idea why either - normally personal discipline isn't a massive issue for me, I can eat healthily, get into gym routines (sort of), quit smoking by willpower - so why is sitting down with God for 10 minutes a day so frustratingly difficult?

Now I've grown so distant from Him that when i do sit down to pray, it's like sitting down with someone you knew 5 years ago, and you no longer have anything to talk about. Motivation drops again.

What can I do? Help!

PS hmmm. I intended to write a fairly light hearted account of my last 5 weeks. Then that came out. Pants. Ahh well, now it's there you can flippin well read it! ;-)

Where do I look for something I can't find?

2006-09-20T23:14:00.000+01:00

Last weekend was the 24-7 Prayer International Leader's Gathering, up in lovely London. I think that Intense is the best word to sum up those 2 1/2 days. It was back-to-back challenges of how I think, how I pray, and how I act... Message of the weekend, direct from God, seems to be "be more of a Mary and less of a Martha". (For those who don't speak Christian-ese, Martha hustled and bustled whilst Mary sat at Jesus' feet and adored Him).

That sums up a lot of my life right now - SO much focus on what I'm doing, it seems that my prayer life has fallen by the wayside a little. Of course I can produce reasons/excuses for this aplenty - new Job + new flat = new routine = high stress + high pressure with freshers week approablah blah blah. Reasons aside, if I'm not talking to God, then I'm not living my life how I want to - I'm not guilt tripping myself - I don't agree with that, I'm just saying that reasons are relatively pointless if the end product is the opposite of something I want my life to be about.

deepness:

Here's the problem. I want to want to pray. I want to have a good relationship with God, I want to intercede for the people I love, for the ministries and groups I have in my heart. BUT I cant get that rhythm. I start off, and it screws up after a few weeks at best, a couple of days at worst. Then I spend a good deal of time not praying, then I start the whole process again.

I keep asking God: "God I can't do this, I need your help, I need you to light that fire in me to want to pray, so it's what I want to do, not what i'm forcing myself to do"

Christian-ese aside, I can't feel the passion for something i REALLY want to feel passion for.

How do I find it? I've asked for it, and can't seem to hear God's answer. It becomes very easy to feel like a faux Christian when I'm not praying... (btw i know that's not true, but it can feel that way sometimes)

Has anyone else experienced something like this? Please comment if you can offer any advice, any at all...

C

Relegations, Re-climatization and Drum Practice

2006-09-07T20:41:00.000+01:00

Ok, so some people in my "blogs i read" list have not been using their blogs. you are hereby relegated to my bookmarks tab - people may no longer find you through my blog! to those who have made the coveted list, congratulations! hehe i'm only a little big-headed!

So I'm back from Ibiza, and have been since last saturday, and a fairly weird thing is happening - I've been jet-lagged. Even there's only a 1 hour time difference, because the mission stuff we were doing was from 11pm-4am (or later if needs be), breakfast at midday, that kind of routine, my body doesnt like this this whole office hours thing i'm re-imposing on it. I'm more or less over it now though, so its not so bad any more! I just fancied an e-whinge ;-)

This weekend im off to the tropical paradise of Keele for a training weekend with the NPC MSC. Should be interesting to see all of the guys who I met at the conference...

I also just bought a snare drum practice pad and stand, so i can be working on my technique without death threats from the neighbours... anytime soon i'll be a real drummer!

Right, im off to waste some time on Joe's Xbox.

C

P.S. I recently got a sitemeter account, so i can see who reads my blog... who is it who's reading me in Stoke-on-Trent?? as far as i know i dont know anyone from there! comment, or email me please! its driving me crazy trying to work out if i know you!

P.P.S. clicky

That's What I'm Talking About!

2006-08-30T12:04:00.000+01:00

Space

Space was more or less exactly what I expected an Ibiza club to be like. Thumping house, lasers, dry ice, back-to-back pilled-up, coked-up, mashed-up clubbers, everyone cheering the DJ when he plays one of the tunes of the season... Hardcore.

Unfortunately, contrary to every piece of advice we were offered, Fatboy Slim played the opening set, so we only caught the last 2 tunes he played. Gutted. But people were saying they had heard better... I guess it's fairly common that a DJ makes it big as a producer, and everyone assumes that they'll be the world's best DJ as well... By the way, if anyone wants any of these sour grapes, I have plenty...

DJ Marky played a mental set, as usual... He has so much energy when he DJ's, it seems to seep out onto the dance floor, so that, even more so than the average DnB crowd, everyone was going totally crazy... it also made me regret chugging a litre of water and 2 cans of red bull before going into the club! But my stomach soon caught up with the rest of me as I gave it large with the rest of the Terrace...

Just after 3, I noticed a load of people flocking into the main room, and figured out pretty sharpish that Carl Cox was about to come on... I was having such an awesome time in Marky's set, I could have stuck in there, but I've heard him a few times before, so I decided to check out what all the fuss over Carl Cox was...

SO glad I did. Carl Cox has been doing a weekly night at Space for 5 seasons now, and he OWNED the main room last night. He knows exactly how to get the Space crowd going, and then keep them going all night long, until every last bit of dancing energy you ever had has evaporated into the smoky air above you...

My ears are still ringing now, at 1.30pm the next day... I may have permanantly damaged my hearing :-)

and with that last sentance, I've turned into my Dad.

Seriously though, I'm sure they'll be fine... (I know dad reads this ;-))

We're having a team time now, and then I shall be taking an extended siesta.

C

The World's Biggest Club

2006-08-29T21:21:00.000+01:00

Saturday night took us to Privilege, which is the biggest nightclub in the world... And with a capacity of around 10,000 it feels like it! They even have a Guinness World Record logo on their welcome sign!

So by now, we had more or less gotten into the swing of arriving at a club when British clubs would be closing, we rocked up at about half 1 and we felt uncool - the fashionably late possee wouldnt be arriving till around about 4. But then, they wear sunglasses in nightclubs, so I guess i can handle being uncool in comparrison ;-)

Anyway, our reason for such an uncool early arrival was that the Main Room DJ from 1 till 3 was Luis, a good friend of 24-7 Ibiza, and a Christian, so he had sorted us all out on the guest list, and in return, we had promised to come for his set and pray for him as we danced. I didn't get to meet him in the end (he doesnt speak a word of english - although my spanish probably would have stretched to small talk!), but it was cool to be there to support a brother as he played to a crowd of several thousand...

The layout of the club is phenomenal. the DJ booth is smack in the centre of the main room, surrounded by a huge area of water. You can only get to it via a thin metal walkway, and everything looks a little space-age... It looks like something out of the crystal maze!

Again, The dancers were so beautiful and talented that I felt utterly inadequete (see Pacha Post), but what the hell, this is Ibiza, no one cares how you dance! Although, however, the INCREDIBLY camp (and probably gay) guy wearing a g-string and wrapped in a net was less than pleasant.

After Luis came off, the DJ that came on after him (apparently pretty famous, although I dont remember his name!) was doing an electro-house set, which most of us weren't much in the mood for, so we went to check out the side room, where the AppleFunk Sessions were going on... the first thing that struck me as I came in was that there was a big fecking tree growing in the middle of the room - pretty impressive! This room felt tiny compared with the main room, but as I spent a bit of time in there, I realised that the capacity of this room alone must be well over a thousand - it was just diddy in comparrison with the main room!

Anyway, the music... The AppleFunk guys combined two genres I love - house and funk... So we spent the next two hours going crazy in there! Apparently one of the applefunkers was one half of Soul Central... well known for their "Strings of Life" remix... Best of all... they gave me a free applefunk keyring. I guess im still having difficulty parting with the "give me free stuff!" aspect of student life!

So, a top quality night - Probably a lot better when there's someone playing stuff I like in the main room, but there was something funnily intimate about the side room, despite its size! I'd definately reccomend it as a venue - I wonder if they do private parties....?

Tonight (Tues) we're heading off to Space, another of the superclubs - Carl Cox is Resident, DJ Marky playing on the Terrace, and guest DJ: Fatboy Slim! be jealous.

Don't forget the important stuff about why i'm here is at this blog: clicky

God Bless,

C

And the sun goes down...

2006-08-23T21:15:00.000+01:00

Ibiza Sunset

Without any doubt, this is one of the most beautiful things i have ever seen. Unfortunately the pics here aren't mine - i only had my camera phone, and the resolution isn't amazing, so these are from google images. but, rest assured, this isn't one of those situations where professionally taken pics make it look more beautiful than it actually is...

The cafés have speakers pointing out onto the beach in front of them, and each one plays its' own unique blend of chillout, perfectly tailored to make the mood perfect. Last night was my first one, and i decided to choose my own soundtrack, so i walked a little bit down from the cafés and stuck on my iPod. Café Del Mar '98 by Energy 52 seemed like the appropriate choice, since that tune was more or less written for the view I was about to witness, and it worked perfectly - a very intense and unusually fast tempo for a chillout track, but something made it suit the sun's descent - You would be surprised how fast it goes down, once it gets to within a few cm of the horizon (alright maths geeks! don't you lot start!), ten minutes later it's gone...

I took advantage of this opportunity to thank God and worship Him for the sheer beauty he has placed all around us - I can't describe quite how awesome this experience was (and, for the record, I mean awesome in the original sense of the word, not awesome like a hot-dog).

As I stood there and the sun reached the halfway point, making a perfect semi-circle on the horizon, I felt a little choked up, and shed a few tears, partly of joy, partly of worship and partly because I couldn't really find any other way to express myself - and I know it's a little bit 'faux deep', but this quote came into my head: "Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in", and it felt like it was the least i could do to squeeze a few tears out to thank God for it all

Then the best (and also, worst) bit:

The last sliver of light disappears. Everyone there (and that's a lot of people) bursts into applause. The concept of this taking place is a fantastic thing, but in reality it all seemed a little unspontaneous - I had known that it happened every night long before I came out here. However, despite the fact that it was more due to peer pressure than anything else for most people, some small part of it still felt special. I imagined, as people whooped and cheered, what had been the motivation for the first person who ever applauded. I like to think that it had been totally involuntary, the same as my tears, someone searching for a way to use their body to celebrate the indescribable beauty they were witnessing.

That's why I applauded.

Thank you God.

C

Sunset Strip - Daytime

2006-08-22T13:16:00.000+01:00

Yesterday, in my afternoon's free time I decided to head down to sunset strip with the intention of checking out the world-famous Café Del Mar. Pretty much everyone i had spoken to who had any experience of Ibiza told me that, in fact, Café Mambo next door was far better, but I wanted to see for myself... Turns out Café Del Mar doesn't actually open until 5pm (it was half 4) and also, at first glance the decor at Mambo looked far better. So, Mambo it was.

Café Mambo

This place is built around 2 things: 1) Relaxing to the point of being SO relaxed, you slip into a coma, and 2) the utterly beautiful Ibiza Sunset...

Since I was there in the afternoon, sunset wasn't on the cards yet, but relaxing SO was. A glass of coke on the terrace (which finishes about 10 metres from the sea) and spending my time not really doing anything.

Mambo (and Café Del Mar too, although I have yet to experience it first-hand) specialize in chillout music, which I adore and I was pleased to see that, even at half 4 in the afternoon, Mambo had a DJ spinning for the punters... when I arrived, California Soul by Marlena Shaw was playing out onto the beach. There couldnt really have been a better song to sum up the mood - Everything seemed very cool and funky, while at the same time very chilled and soulful - And the set stayed in that vein - So much that I didnt even bother getting out my book (my original intent). I just sat, looking out to the tiny island to the west of San Antonio Bay and letting the tunes mix with the noise of the sea. For a short while, I was alone in a bustling Cafe - Ibiza had never turned into a tourist attraction, never become a clubbers Mecca, never even been colonized. I was the first person to ever discover that view and the sea's rhythmic wash included a bassline and a sax solo...

It took quite some time to snap myself out of that trance.

On a side note, Mambo had it's own little quirks of attention to detail that just added small cherries to the delicious pink icing of the location I was gorging myself on.

Branded Straws, PR's and waitresses who actually seemed to take interest in you rather than see you as a big walking Euro sign and as i mentioned already, DJ's in the daytime who seem to know EXACTLY what song you want to hear EXACTLY when you want to hear it.

Perfect.

I went back to Sunset strip at sundown yesterday to watch the world's most famous (or so the bars claim) sunset, but we missed it by about 30 seconds - we heard everyone's reaction to it as we walked down the last street. We did stick about to soak up the atmosphere that all the bars there lay on, but it just wasn't quite the same without that view of the sun disappearing playing and replaying in my mind. We're going back in about 4 hours, and we'll be in plenty of time tonight!

Pacha

2006-08-21T12:06:00.000+01:00

So, the first real night down, and on the cards was a club night in Pacha

By the way, I'm gonna use this blog mostly for personal reflections and club/bar reviews... Hopefully you're interested in what we're actually doing as a team too, so you can have a look here, which we'll try and update as often as poss...

So, Pacha. Arguably the best house club in the world. Certainly the best in Ibiza. (This is all hearsay as yet, but from the looks of their summer line up & residencies, i don't see any reason to contest it...)

Last night was "Flower Power." None of the permanant community had been to this one before, and someone had told them that it was old skool house - so, the kind of stuff that got me into clubbing in the first place. Turns out it was a 60's and 70's night. With hindsight, a name like 'flower power' should have been a dead giveaway. ;-)

So, a brief review...

Atmosphere:

Phenomenal. This was my first superclub, so the sheer size of it was always going to blow my mind, but the true greatness of the place was in the attention to detail. Many of the clubbers had made real effort, getting dressed up in their best hippy/disco clothes, and the decor was almost all specific to the night. The tech staff must literally spend every minute between closing (sometime between 6 and 8am) and opening again (about midnight) changing the decor. And with the place open every day, thats no small task.

Bars:

Since we're an alcohol-free team, I won't be reveiwing what the booze was like. however, because i'm an ex-bartender (and more importantly, because i'm a total loser) I went to have a look at how good the bar staff were... Bear in mind that, because of the club's reputation, I was expecting the best. They weren't. I've seen far slicker bar teams in london, and even cambridge for that matter. Still, the club's layout as regards to bars was interesting: instead of several massive ones, they had about a dozen tiny ones (1-2 tenders each) which would seem to be a far better idea... less walking about to get a drink, less queues - hopefully. Anyway, with 330ml water bottles at 8 euros, and red bull at 13 euros, i decided to smuggle in my own water and spend the equivalent money on better things another time... like say, a house.

Dancers:

Pacha employs a number of ridiculously beautiful people to dance on its podiums - once you're past the self-consciousness of how beautiful they are, and how good they are at dancing (and therefore making light of my weaknesses in both departments ;-)) it's a pretty impressive show: Costumes, hair and make-up (covering all different fashions from these decades) were the sort of quality you'd expect on a film set, but not only did they dance, but every half hour or so they'd put on a show of some kind, involving the clubbers... my favourites included

- During "Yellow Submarine" 4 dancers carrying a massive (8' by 4') painted wooden cut-out of the Beatles' yellow submarine through the crowd encouraging the clubbers to be the sea!
- Handing out sparklers to EVERYONE (c. 4000 people, by the way) to wave during "Give peace a chance"
- Girls handing out heart-shaped lollies from the podium whilst loads of tissue paper hearts fell from the ceiling.

Loads of fun - customer involvement is definately the way to go in a club!

DJ's:

As I said, the main room was 60's & 70's, so mixing that sort of stuff is not an easy thing. The mixing wasn't anything to write home about, but the playlist was pretty sweet... everything a good 60's/70's night should have :-)

Then we saw that Rob Da Bank was playing the Global sideroom at 3, so we went in there for a bit of that action... I dont know much about him, but I'd heard good things. He played a fantastic set - mostly hard house, but a little bit of allsorts thrown in to mix it up a bit! my favourite little bit went like this:

*hard house* --> Blur/Song 2 --> New Order/How does it feel? --> Wink/Higher State of consciousness --> *Hard House*

seamless. impressive.

So, despite being in the mood for an awesome house night, i still had a pretty sweet time. Although i would say just one thing:

Going to flower power at Pacha is like asking Raymond Blanc or Gordon Ramsay to cook you a hamburger. It'll be the best damn hamburger you've ever had, but it'll still be just a burger.

I think to truly 'experience' Pacha, I need to go on one of the nights it's famous for. Pete Tong is resident on friday nights, and i'm free this friday...

Where's that ticket seller?

C

Woah! We're going to Ibiza!

2006-08-19T18:57:00.000+01:00

I'm sat in Gatwick airport, wasting time before I fly...

I'm about to go out to Ibiza, leading a team from 24-7 mission, and we're going to go over there and see what God wants us to do.

past teams have seem Him do some awesome things - I dont know what i expect, but I DO expect something.

If you're a praying person, please say a little one for me over the next couple of weeks - inadequete doesnt even begin to cover how i'm feeling.

God bless everyone, i'll soak up some rays on your behalf :-)

C

Maybe we need this to happen...

2006-08-16T10:06:00.000+01:00

clicky

I suppose it's time I blogged...

2006-08-15T21:23:00.000+01:00

My life has developed a nasty habit of happening... If I'm not careful, it will have all happened before i get round to doing anything i want to do...

I'm not talking about all of those lists people create of "things i must do before i die" - granted they would be cool, but not exactly what I'm driving at...

5 weeks ago was Transmission, the weekend of training for the 24-7 team I'm going on to Ibiza on Saturday... I came away from it on a huge high, having spent some amazing time with God personally, as well as receiving some awesome teaching... and I spent about a week continuing to live in the type of relationship with God that I've always wanted. well notentirely - i didn't raise the dead or anything, but a lot better, that's the point... i was praying regularly, hearing from God back, and reading my bible regularly too... But it all slipped away after a week or so.

And since then, the phrase that has continually popped up in my head (in one guise or another) is "I'll sort out my relationship with God tomorrow" - And I can confirm, by nearly 23 years' personal experience, that tommorrow never comes.

So here. Now.

Time to start sorting things in my head out. Time to get my prayer and Bible study routines sorted. Today. Because, after roughly 30 tomorrows, a month has left me feeling a bit distant from Him.

peace

C

I nearly died laughing at this...

2006-07-26T21:20:00.000+01:00

Saw this on Simon the Chaplain's blog and HAD to share... utterly fantastic!

Melting in robes...

2006-07-25T22:27:00.000+01:00

Ok, so as one of the Union sabbs i have to attend a fifth of the graduation ceremonies as part of the podium procession. This involves; Wearing special union robes, with a crest and everything - very nice. A silly tudor bonnet - less nice, but i can go with it... Walking in to organ music trying to look as serene/important/holy as possible. I go with the clasping hands together over my belly walking posture... I was walking in next to Simon, the chaplain, during a couple of ceremonies and we thought it may be a giggle to walk in like monks in prayer - you know, prayer-hands up in front of the chest - but we opted against it... would have been good craic though!

So anyway, the theatres where the ceremonies take place may be more accurately described as tandoori ovens. Particularly pleasant for us on the podium as we have the added pleasure of stage lights on us! I'm not a big one for sweat patches normally, but I decided go with the flow (so to speak) and see how damp I could make my shirt in the 1-hour ceremony. By the way, this was after several liberal douses of anti-perspirant. I didn't do badly, my sweat patches *nearly* reached my beltline, but i was beaten hands down by some of the real bigwigs - the chancellor, vice-chancellor etc who have the privalege of the front row - including leather chairs! so sweat patch prize i think goes to the chancellor this year, who acheived complete shirt-saturation in a single hour. Bravo!

With my own ceremony coming up on Thursday (and another two before that, tomorrow) I'm getting fairly familiar with the chancellor's speech too... I think i'll be able to lip-sync with his joke by the time it gets to my own graduation! :-)

I've temporarliy gone against my environmental beliefs and used my office aircon unit to create my own personal fridge... those of you who have more environmental integrity than I, dont fret - it's only for this week! or maybe for this heatwave... i kinda like it :-S

I reckon that's enough for now... incredibly long blog entries are fairly off-putting, don't you think? Having said that, so (potentially) are stories of sweat-patch competitions...

C

Life Gets Better...

2006-07-19T19:28:00.000+01:00

I just found a little Spanish Family-run traditional Tapas Bar and Restaraunt in the city! YES YEEES! YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!

yes.

New Leaves...

2006-07-17T20:09:00.000+01:00

Finally I have internet at home! thanks Joe for hooking it up man - i don't know where i'd be without your computer geniusness...

So, new leaves... As you'll notice from my last post, the weekend i spent in Harpenden with the 24-7 crew was amazing - God totally knocked me for six, it's been a long time since i've encountered him with a similar depth... i have an inkling that it's something to do with getting up early before breakfast and spending some quality time with Him in a field...

Isn't it weird - many of us spend a huge amount of time in our lives trying to realise that God isn't restricted by formulae and rules, and yet one of the most fundamental things in this life is so causal it could almost be called a formula: spend more time with God, life improves!

I'm not preaching a 'health and wealth' gospel, of course life is gonna throw a handful of cack at us every now and then, but with the equivalent "stress and worry" time spent in God's presence, meaning and importance changes...

So this last 8 days, my endeavour has been to give God a chunk of time, each morning, before i go to work, and mostly, it's been happening (apart from a lapse on thursday - naughty thursdays!)... and what to say - no life hasn't been all roses, it's been stressful at times and i haven't always been a 'model christian'... but often (or at least, more often than before) my focus has been elsewhere... of course i've tried regular morning quiet times before, but routine is something i find really hard, so if those of you who pray wanna clasp your hands together briefly and i'll lead us... "Lord, please help Chris get into a routine of spending time with you every morning. Amen."

I dont know what it is about routines of prayer, why they should be any different from praying the equivalent amount in random chunks across the week, but they seem to work - maybe its cos when we have a routine, we actually DO the prayer, rather than just intend to. maybe.

Anyway, so that's new leaf #1. #2 is the dreaded gym. bleargh. Toby, one of my fellow VP's at the union is getting me fit, so i can (hopefully) run a half marathon with him for charity at some point in the year. i started his routine today. this man wants me dead! hehe, but seriously, i could do with being a bit healthier... so it's worth a shot :-)

I think thats enough rambling for now :-)

C

What a Weekend!

2006-07-09T21:55:00.000+01:00

Wow, I'm still reeling!

I've just been in Harpenden with 24-7 prayer, doing training for my mission to Ibiza which is happening in about 6 weeks' time... as always after events such as this, I'm utterly shattered, emotionally overwhelmed and most of all, feeling full of God and the Holy Spirit - now for the hard part... keeping up the dpeth of intimacy with God come Monday morning...

Details on the weekend to follow, for now, I need to rest!

'specially as i'm going to resedential training for my job at silly o' clock tomorrow morning!

God Bless,

C

Results

2006-06-28T14:32:00.000+01:00

oh, by the way, got a 2:2 in my degree :-)

Everything is new...

2006-06-28T13:59:00.000+01:00

So it's something of a transitional period for me right now...

Started my new job on monday, this week is handover week and then i'm on my own as of next monday! So far I'm drowning in a sea of new names and TLA's (three-letter abbreviations - thanks dad!) It's all quite a lot to take in. But come monday, the I'd-like-you-to-meets and here's-a-powerpoint-of-my-job-descriptions should come to an end and i'll be getting down to the nitty gritty. After 2 weeks of training ;-)

that all sounded a bit negative didn't it? actually im loving all this, i think it's just cos im tired - 9 to 5 is hard to get used to when i've had 3 1/2 years not doing it! I'm having to become un-nocturnal again...

And at the end of this week, i'm moving into my new flat - which should be amazing! not least because it's been a bit lonely in my house all by myself, but also cos it's newly refurbed and generally pretty cool :-) So i have to spend the next few nights putting things in boxes. Which all feels somwehat pointless because my new flat is a grand old distance of 20 metres across the road from my current house! ah well, at least i'll get good exercise dodging burgess road traffic with arms full of stuff!

And, last of all, irritatingly, my home network has gone down. So no t'internet for me. which is why my blogger/messenger presence hasn't been fantastic :-(

till next time,

C.

Its a Deep One Today...

2006-06-22T00:28:00.000+01:00

Ahh, Gordon Ramsay's back on the telly... And this time he's got even more poor members of the public to yell at! From the look of the 'coming next week' clip at the end, someone tries to yell back at him next week - i can't wait to see how much of a mistake that'll be!

I'm gonna miss having a TV...

Who am i kidding? apart from cooking shows, i'm not gonna miss it at all!

On to more interesting things - I was at a City Prayer evening today, and Debra Green was down to talk to us about city-changing prayer - a subject which i could hear her talk about for weeks on end! That woman certainly knows God's voice as far as cities are concerned! As far as a lot of things are concerned, come to that... Everyone there came away with a lot about how to pray for our city, most of all, Vision, Unity & Positive Focus (which i'll come to later...)

Debra Asked if she could pray for me at the end, and she said she felt God say 2 things: 1) a picture of carpenter's tools - that i would be involved in building (literally!) something - something multi-storey - for God... and 2) that i should meditate on John 15 lots.

2) makes sense, 1) doesnt make so much sense... but we'll see...

so, positive focus... I'm wondering if what i'm about to say is controversial...

When Debra talked about this, it brought back to my mind something i've been thinking about a fair amount recently...

Why do many of us pray against stuff?

I don't understand the point. We read the Bible using Jesus as a lens, in other words, we are looking for the love and grace in every story we read in the bible, as well as every situation we encounter in life... Many times when i have been praying for many different reasons, i find myself praying against something. Now, I dont think that it's wrong per se (except praying against another person, but that's a different story), but i'm talking about praying against the enemy, or an illness, or whatever... I have found myself talking to illnesses and injuries, telling them to be healed. Here's where i hit a problem, Jesus did talk to deamons, and cast them out.

But here's what i've been mulling over: I think it's fairly well accepted that anger breeds anger, hate breeds hate and so on... well then, by reasoning love should breed love. So I can hate the devil, and the stuff he does, but if i talk to him in an angry way, or even talk to God about him in an angry way, is it possible that I'm allowing the love that God is trying to grow in me to be compromised?

I'm wondering if what i've said is making any sense... I'll try and give an example:

Instead of "less illness", "more healing"... instead of "less curse", "more blessing"...

I'm aware that this seems like a case of semantics and all i'm doing is playing with antonyms, but I'm worried that things I say maybe run deeper... Because with God's grace in my life, im convinced that (no matter how hard it may be sometimes) I can always find the positive, and especially always pray in the positive... So I'm gonna give it a shot... and also see if I can clear up my thoughts on the matter, especially regarding Jesus' example of instructing deamons etc...

I'd really appreciate comments on this; your thoughts, disagreements and any Bible references you think may be relevent!! This means you! I want comments - Dad, I know you read this on the quiet so no excuses now!

hehe God bless guys

C

Why are Fat, Drunk Men Funny?

2006-06-20T00:01:00.000+01:00

I'm sat using my housemate Andy's laptop watching Jonny Vegas drunkenly ramble, and I'm in stitches... it's coarse and horrendous (sp?) but I'm in total hysterics - especially since he hates Sex and the City as much as me!

interesting things today - last Union Council of the year, followed by a dinner as a bit of a thank you to council members... was a bit of an odd feeling, knowing that next time we went into council, I'd be Vice President Education & Representation... this job is rapidly becoming pretty real ;-)

Also, got my dissertation grade this afternoon - i got a 65 for my project which, added to the 68 for the lit review, leaves me with a pretty strong 2:1 for the diss! whoo! unfortunately I don't think it'll be quite enough to pull my overall classification up to a 2:1 overall, but hey, I'm happy with what I've done.

England V Sweden tomorrow: COME ON!

Thought for the day: how did I just manage to burn a simple pasta sauce i've cooked a hundred times?

Late-night Library, Carlton Room-Temperature and The Fun Lovin' Criminals

2006-06-16T12:52:00.000+01:00

*ahem* so, yeah, it's been a while, sorry....

the last 6 weeks have been - memorable.
I'll work my way through them...

First two weeks - Coursework deadlines. Thats all.

Next three weeks - Study leave and Exams. and I have to say, they weren't too bad... the late night library opening hours over the exams period were really useful - the place totally changes at midnight... I remember Roald Dahl talking about the witching hour in the BFG, when everything becomes silent and that's the time for magical things to happen... Well, I now have experienced this - at midnight in the library, people finally stop chatting to each other and a magical thing happens - I get work done!

The last week has been celebrations week. Here I am, on Friday morning totally frazzled after 8 days of almost non-stop parties, clubs and BBQs. Man, its a hard life. :-)

Some highlights and musings:

Jesters to celebrate the end of exams (wed)... always a dangerous combo! in fact, Jesters seems to be a dangerous combo with anything...

Skipping out on the Psychology social (thurs) which was taking me BACK to Jesters, and fleeing to the Wonder Years in Rhino Club. Cheese of a different nature - actual good music, but still popular and well-loved by all - Jesters, Cube, Academy - take note! Brief aside: Can Carlton Cold still be called by its name if the bar staff serve it at room temperature? If I'm paying extortionate prices, I don't expect false advertising - Maybe Carlton Warm or Carlton Room Temparature would suffice. ;-) reminds me of the wisdom of Strong Bad: clicky

Cube was crap on fri. shock horror.

Saturday saw the last ever 57 party at Graham and Joe's - This is what summer parties should be - 2pm for football on a big projector (not a great game, but hey, we won!) 4pm for BBQ and later than that for houseparty :-) it would seem my homemade burgers went down well.... I'm ashamed to say I bailed a bit early (1am) before the party properly kicked off, I think the last 3 nights were catching up with me!

Skip over a few minor nights out to..... Wednesday: Grad Ball #1. Twas a good night. After a VIP reception (I know, I know!) we headed on up to the main room to hear the band, Fun Lovin' Criminals - not a bad set... I only caught about half of it, but was fairly impressed :-) Fearne Cotton (generic attractive celeb DJ) was ok too, at least she knew her audience i suppose - somewhat reminiscent of the playlist in Jesters though!

And now here's the icing on an all-round awesome week. Grad Ball #2, last night. Had told myself i would catch the FLC's set properly, right at the front... SO glad I did! the set was ten times better than wednesdays, and so was the audience for that matter! Huey (frontman) dedicated a song to me! I think it was something to do with the fact that i was head and shoulders above most of the rest of the people i was with, and my newly-bleached hair is a bit luminous! Needless to say, i was officially chuffed! and i made a lot of people jealous ;-) the girls think he's pretty fit, it would seem. My pal Rachel threw her bra at Huey during Scooby Snacks. *ahem*. Edith Bowman comes on after the end of the set and proceeds to play a few good tunes mixed in with the queso...

So just when im thinking my night can't get any better, Phil the Webb hooks me up with an AAA pass. So we go backstage and chill out with the Fun Lovin Criminals. Huey makes a good Margarita (the sign of a good person ;-)). I dont think i need to say much more, i can just lean back and bask in my own coolness. hehe. seriously, it was a little surreal, but certainly a night for the scrapbook.

Till next time,

C

For the love of live...

2006-04-29T13:15:00.000+01:00

i can't remember whose commercial it was; Carling, or the BBC or someone else who promotes live music... but anyway, here's the scene:

There's a row of fans at the front of a gig, and the camera is passing in front of them (it's all in slowmo, obviously!). They are tired, sweaty and barely able to stand, having to lean on the front barrier just to stay on their feet. However, there are looks of pure ectasy one their faces, looking up at the stage in total enjoyment of the music. You never see or hear the band, but it doesnt matter. the caption comes up: "For the love of live"

It's ALL about live music.

Case in point: last night's gig.

I went to the Talking Heads last night to see Ezio, an awesome acoustic-y combo. But not normal acoustic style... a sort of rocky, latin-y, blues-y mix - fantastic! with some of the best acoustic guitar playing i've EVER heard...

And what i loved the most - these guys have a pretty strong following (I haven't heard them before, i went along cos i knew the drummer and guitarist from another band) and most of the audience were middle-aged... when the more popular songs were played, EVERYONE around me was singing - there's something that makes a gig even more enjoyable when you know that everyone around you is having an even better time than you!

Anyway, having had an amazing night last night, it's time to do some work. eugh.

laters,

C

Communion

2006-04-16T16:04:00.000+01:00

I went along to the Maundy Thursday service the other day, and there was this QUALITY call to communion:

Come, not because you are strong,
but because you are weak.
Come, not because any goodness of your own
gives you a right to come,
but because you need mercy and help.
Come, because you love the Lord a little,
and would like to love Him more.
Come, because He loved you
and gave Himself for you.

Lift up your hearts and minds above
your cares and fears and let this bread
and wine be to you the token and pledge
of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God
and the fellowship of the Spirit, all meant
for you if you will receive them in humble faith.

I'm not normally a big fan of liturgy, but that is a beautiful summary of why we take communion, and of God's grace as a whole for that matter...

Happy Easter!

C

Western Lowland Gorilla

2006-04-14T01:25:00.000+01:00

This is one of my favourite useless facts ever. As you should know, all species of animal have a latin name, otherwise known as a proper name, i think.

I was musing about gorillas (as one does) and decided to see what google could teach me.

The Western Lowland Gorilla's latin name is...

wait for it....

Gorilla Gorilla Gorilla!

oh yes. It's a few months after i first made that discovery, and im still chuckling.

dont believe me eh? ok, here's a link to prove it. clicky

everyone always raves about the Romans, and yet, they clearly put no effort into naming gorillas. teehee.

By the way. I dont get many comments on here by the looks of things, and yet many people tell me that they read my blog (disconfirming my fears that actually im writing to noone!) - if youre reading this, please comment - to tell me what you think about gorillas. THIS MEANS YOU!

Holidays...

2006-04-13T00:49:00.000+01:00

I've come to a shocking realisation.

I REALLY dislike holidays. Not going abroad and all that, i love to travel. But this obscenely long month-out-of-my-life. I havent experienced one properly for some years now, as I've always jumped right into full-time bar work. But without that option any more, I've been left to my own devices. And I'm bored out of my skull. And my daily routines are shot to pieces - prayer, eating, exercise, work.

I'm sure taking time out is important, but a month for easter?

And now an even scarier prospect looms: Am i actually looking forward to being in full-time work?

Hell yes.

hmm that wasnt scary at all ;-)

C

Fat Poppadaddy's

2006-04-12T00:34:00.000+01:00

So, after 8 months or so of The Cube (our student's union club) running this night every Saturday, and me never quite being bothered enough to go I finally went - but not in the cube.

Apparently this is one of those nationwide promo nights. anyyyway - it was AWESOME. the DJ was a true genius. well sort of. It was surely the best inter-genre mixing i have ever witnessed. a few of my favourite mixes:

Shaggy - Boombastic with Rage against the Machine - Killing in the Name of
Shimon & Andy C - Bodyrock with Queens of the Stone Age - Noone Knows
Prodigy - Smack my Bitch up with SL2 - On a Ragga Tip

I'm just not sure how he pulled it off.

anyway, that aside, i havent been out for ages and just had a good time - noone who i had to talk to, or sort something out with someone, or sort tickets for everyone, or avoid vomiting freshers...

just a nice relaxed drink with old mates, and then dancing like a prat till the early hours.

nights out don't get much better than that.

C

Further Deep Musings...

2006-04-10T15:58:00.000+01:00

I finished Nick Hornby's book in like 3 days - i love doing that, makes me feel so clever (Don't tell anyone its only 243 pages!) and looked to the family fiction bookcase to see what i could see...

Picked up the complete Hitchhiker's collection - all 6 books in one volume and felt excited. So far I had only made it about halfway through the first book... Douglas Adams is hard work if you're not in the mood! Anyway i got stuck in again... and so far i have reached the same point. its actually pretty funny, and the short chapters give me a real sense of achievement ;-)

However.

I was sitting in church last night and realised why i've been feeling pretty crap recently - don't worry, this post isnt going to turn into a heavily depressing soul-search... But here's the thing; I've lost touch with God. I was wondering why i find it so hard to hear God's voice at the moment, and what came to me was exactly the same feeling as when you catch up with an old friend who you havent seen for years, and you have no idea where they're coming from when they tell you about some incident that just happend to them.

Logic dictates that the thing i need to do is sort out my Quiet Times - well, of course. but the reason these have been so thin on the ground recently is partly because of this feeling - almost like i dont know where to begin because i've all but forgotten who God is.

SO, Hitchhiker's is scrapped. Sorry Douglas, another time. My reading list will now consist of Christian books - because i need more spiritual input in my life, and the book i'm reading seems to be a good place to start.

Of course, quiet times (particularly praying) need to be re-established too, don't worry, i'm not expecting a few pages of Philip Yancey to renew my relationship with God. But it can't hurt.

So like yeah... I think I'll start with Wild at Heart, one of my many half-finished Christian books.

C

P.S. Joe and Chix, although i was officially a convert at the last 57 Party, I'm now listening at home ;-) Jellybass yeah!

Unhealthy...

2006-04-07T01:19:00.000+01:00

ManFlu subsiding, dry cough type-thing remains. better. not all there, but better.

I've just watched Supersize Me, a movie by Morgan Spurlock who decides to eat nothing but MacDonald's for 30 days, and see what it does to his health. the results are terrifying. I've seen this movie before, and i remember it having the same effect on me then: i feel so unhealthy.

I actually don't really eat MacDonald's - I'm a real fan of *proper* food - sure, my housemates call me a food snob (not nearly as snobby as my alcohol tastes, i assure you!) - but i try to get my 5 portions, avoid e numbers, would rather drink juice than coke etc, but still - there's something about watching people live in extremes that wakes you up to the little things you need to do in your life...

need to go back to the gym
need to swim occasionally
need to buy a bike next time i have money
need to eat less crap
need to eat more veg

now, if it were only new year's day toady, i could make these resolutions now ;-)

Man Flu...

2006-04-05T23:45:00.000+01:00

I'm reliably informed that the medical definition for what i have is Man Flu.

Its some kind of nasty coldy-fluey ming which has managed to encompass about everything that sucks about being ill, including:

Insomnia
Temperature Change
Inability to focus on a page
Headaches from screens

as well as the usual grot:

stiffness, headaches, shivering, fatigue, dodgy stomach

all ending in a blissful bout of tonsilitis.

YEAH!

hence the lack of blogging.

on the plus side, it's all passing now, hopefully tomorrow should be the last day of it.

right, now that i've won your sympathies, im going to go to bed and attempt to sleep.

C

Job Opportunity

2006-03-21T23:42:00.000Z

I need an HTML legend to lend me a few moments of their time... i want to do something clever to the template of my blog (I've nearly got it i think!) Graham, Joe or Dan Chad, I'm looking in your direction - 5 minutes? please?

I'm willing to pay with some form of gourmet cooking, but with the sole proviso that you can't claim credit for the advice you give me...

That way, when you've helped me out, i can delete this post and pass all the clever coding off as my own... ;-)

anyone wanna lend a hand to a computer loser?

C

2006-03-20T14:40:00.000Z

bargate... long story!

2006-03-19T18:48:00.000Z

trying something

I'm An Internet Nobody.....

2006-03-17T18:11:00.000Z

Having just read a few friends' blogs, and seen what fun (and dismay) they have encountered by googling themselves, i decided to google myself to see how well known i am on the information superhighway.

34th link on google. Ass. I'm not at all happy with that.

Ahh well, it'll all change when i take up my new job - my aim is for the first page of Google.

On the plus side, i would appear to have a fair few famous namesakes. I dont know why that's a plus. But it is.

On an aside, ive just updated my "This week i have been listening to" links. I need some new albums.

So please please comment - tell me which (fairly new) albums i MUST buy - we're talking can't-live-without-these-sounds kind of music here - bear in mind funds are tight, so only the best suggestions will be considered.

C

Podcasting...

2006-03-10T18:00:00.000Z

you may remember that, a few posts ago, i expressed my confusion at this whole podcasting lark - what it was, how to do it, and all that jazz...

well i just googled "what is podcasting?" - the first link looks like an explanation. great - i click it and have a read...

the first sentance is "Think how a desktop aggregator works."

Well.

I'm glad they put it in layman's terms for me. :-|

to save myself the hassle of posting on here asking for someone to explain what a desktop aggregator is, i backtrack and try the next link. a bit more helpful. so i think i may understand :-) what i think (and hope) it is, is a way of accessing music for no money.

So im off to iTunes to see if i can figure out how this works.

C

Almost Recovered...

2006-03-07T21:02:00.000Z

Its a lovely thing about stressful/busy/tiring times - when they finish abruptly, your body breathes a massive sigh of relief, and your immune system goes ker-plunk! since my last blog, i've had massive fatigue, cold symptoms, flu symptoms and an excruciating toothache caused by a tiny little infection in my upper jaw. Praise God for Amoxycillin 250 and Neurofen liquid capsules! :-)

Those aside, ive been having a great time reeling in victory.

I've been helping my buddy Starkie with his breakfast show on our student radio station - that guy's professionalism never caeses to amaze me! He'll have a show on Radio 1 in 5 years, i'll put money on it.

Today, we played a delicious little prank on the lecturers who were on strike outside the library - I went up to one poor unsuspecting staff member, and asked him if I could do an interview live on air - which we did. What the poor guy didn't pick up on was that i had a challenge.

"Chris, your mission is to see how many Busted song titles you can fit into your questions"

I got 8. Without being rumbled. I think i did pretty well ;-) if you wanna hear it, go here and click Hour 2 of Tuesday 7th, and jump forward to about 3/8ths of the way through the hour.

Classic!

C

The moment you've all been waiting for...

2006-03-02T23:39:00.000Z

Ok, it would seem i'm being pestered to post a blog with the results of the elections...

dear me, it seems like a person can't even be afforded a day of sleep and laziness after 2 weeks of intense campaigning without texts and emails asking how i did...

jokes. I really appreaciate that you guys care!

oh, by the way i won ;-)

yup yup, you are reading the blog of the new vp education and representation elect. which means i have a real grown-up job in 4 months time. i'm still buzzing from results night last night, so it's only just beginning to sink in that i won this... thanks so much for your prayers and support guys!

sooner or later i'm gonna remember that i have a degree to finish, and i'll hit the earth with a bump ;-)

but for now, i'm gonna carry on walking on air - God is so good!

Love, celebratory Guinness and exit polls,

C

By the way...

2006-02-26T09:53:00.000Z

if anyone cares, which i doubt, but anyway, you can have a look at my manifesto, election blog and speeches etc HERE

C

Election Fever

2006-02-26T09:52:00.000Z

I'm taking advantage of the first 10 minutes i've had free since my last blog....

I don't know how my mum does this every 4 years - actually I do, she's a legend, my mum. but still. They say moving house is the most stressful thing you'll ever do. I'd be willing to wager that the people who say that haven't ever stood in an election. And this one is only a miniscule student election with a voting population of 22000 or so. Kudos to anyone who does this on a larger scale.

Anyway,

I'm actually enjoying this amidst all the pressure and sleep deprivation. I stand a fairly good chance it would seem, but it's still far too close to call, especially between me and one other fella. Annoying thing is, he's a lovely bloke so I can't even hate him. ;-)

Polls open tomorrow - close on wednesday lunchtime, and i should know by about midnight on wednesday. wow. that's not too far off. I think that the result is the only thing im chilled about - God has been awesome (as usual!) comforting me, reminding me that He is in control of my life, and I don't need to fret - win or lose, it's all in His hands.

Which is comforting :-)

anyway, i'm off to church to think about something other than elections for a couple of hours!

C

Been a while...

2006-02-14T16:30:00.000Z

For those of you who don't go to uni with me, i'm standing for a union sabbatical position in the Union elections in about a fortnight...

I'm going for Vice President Education and Representation (VP Ed for short - thank goodness!), which is more or less the students' representative to the universtiy bigwigs on all matters academic. It's a full time job for a year, starting 1st July. Pretty heavy stuff it would seem. But rewarding to actually see things done which have been frustrating me and my coursemates for the last 3 years!

There are three other guys going for the post, and all four of us seem well qualified and motivated for this job. i don't envy the voters!

anyway, i spend my time roughly divided between fear that i won't get elected and fear that i will! Jokes... actually im really excited about the whole thing - to be honest, even if i don't get it, it'll still be a quality experience running for it. not that i'd tell the voters that - i'm fighting to win!!

Anyway, apologies if my blog is a little thin over the next 2 weeks or so, but i have to be busy thinking of how to sound intelligent enough to run the academic side of the union.

laters!

C

My Post-Exam Missions

2006-02-03T11:50:00.000Z

they're finally over - horray!

I'm free until monday when semester 2 begins!

part of me doesnt even care if i did well!

ahem. so, with exams out of the way, i can finally start addressing the things that i've been putting off until... well, now.

interesting tangent - i don't know if anyone shares my concern that a double espresso just doesnt cut it anymore? a couple of guys i know run a little mobile coffee cart in southampton, and have introduced me to the wonder that is a Caffe Ristretto. The strength of an espresso, but only half of the water is passed through it. hot dang, i drunk it half an hour ago, and my face has that weird feeling that you get when you're a little tipsy. caffiene jolt-a-licious! maybe ill keep those to no more than one a week - its actually a little worrying how much less than 25ml of liquid has had on me. anyway, back to the missions:

Mission 1: listen to albums properly.

i suffer from a fairly common syndrome that i like to call listen-to-the-well-known-songs-itis. in other words i buy an album for one or two songs, which i already know, and then pretty much only listen to those songs from the album. i have come to realise that im missing out on a shedload of good music here. so the mission will be executed in two parts:

1) when i have more money, buy more less-well-known albums.
2) for the time being, listen to the albums i already own all the way through, at the minimum rate of 1 entire album per day.

im currently listening to Kokopelli by Kosheen - quality noise! definately beats listening to "all in my head" several times, then moving on to the next artist.

Mission 2: more serious this time - get more in-depth with my spiritual disciplines.

for the last month, i've been only reading "Morning and Evening" by Spurgeon, and my personal prayer life has been fairly meagre. i've justified it by the facts that 1) i have been engaging with God to an extent, and 2) that im under so much pressure from work that i cant afford any more time. 1) is a fairly good point, 2) is not. However, neither of them justify not pressing into my relationship with God now i have the time. Objectives:

A) Continue with Spurgeon, first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

B) Engage in an in-depth bible study once a day. going to use "Search the Scriptures". seems good.

C) Spend at least half an hour a day in private, presonal prayer. also, implament structure in these times, using Bill Hybels' suggestions in "Too Busy Not To Pray" as a framework. this includes journaling of thoughts and prayers (seperately)

Mission 3: practice drums more.

speaks for itself i think.

Mission 4: get good enough at gamecube games that i can beat my housemate Andy.

important i feel, as i need some small facet of my male pride in tact for the time being ;-)

wow. that was deep. i guess i better get started on mission 2, since ive already done mission 1 for the day :-)

God Bless,

C

weird things...

2006-01-30T12:20:00.000Z

Does anybody, anybody at all have any idea what a podcast actually is? it's right there on my iTunes toolbar, and i seem to bump into them everytime i search the music store but nowhere can i find what they are or what they do, and (most importantly) how much they're gonna cost me if i click on the wrong button...

anyone?

2006-01-27T12:22:00.000Z

random pic of me for my profile...

Blocks

2006-01-26T02:05:00.000Z

Against my better judgement, i decided to sack the revision this afternoon and head home from the library for the afternoon prayer meeting that we host at my house. SO glad i did. God's presence was totally awesome for several hours. Mike and I especially were totally struck down and whilst i spent most of the time in tears, he couldn't stop laughing. must have been a weird scene to walk in on...

Anyway, God spoke some stuff to me today. I've found it hard recently to put into words how i'm feeling, so God gave me a picture in my head which i tried to recreate on the whiteboard (posted below). maybe this can help you understand where i've been for the last 9 months. trying to walk, whilst dragging enormous stone blocks behind me of stuff like what i want to do with my life (my will), the stuff i struggle with in my life (my sin) and the things that worry, upset and scare me (my cares). After i drew this up on the board, i looked at it and saw myself and cried. "no wonder i feeling under pressure" i thought - and it really feels to me like the picture shows it - the scale of the blocks compared with me...

When i had let out a lot of built-up emotion, God spoke this to me - "Child, my yoke is easy and my burden is light". I know these words to be true, they're in Matthew, i've read them dozens of times. But, as one of my favourite film quotations goes:

"There's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path...."

As i let the words sink in, i broke, again, and found tears streaming down my face, again. out of thankfulness to God for showing me the far easier way. out of sorrow for my stupidity and inability to trust God with those big stone blocks. out of the feeling of relief of having those reins taken off.

Thought for the Day: Don't carry your own blocks. Leave them at the cross. "They that hope in the Lord shall soar on wings like eagles. They shall run and not be weary, and walk and not be faint." and they shan't drag big chuffin' blocks neither.

2006-01-26T01:41:00.000Z

Me...

coming back to the heart of worship...

2006-01-21T02:53:00.000Z

Isn't God awesome?

you can almost totally ignore Him for over a month, and His grace extends so far as to let you pick up where you left off.

not that this is always the case, but today it is so.

after the diss got in on Wed, i decided it was time to turn over a new leaf. or pick an old one back up. re-starting the spiritual disciplines i had picked up last term, only to drop when i went home for the holidays...

So yesterday i did my daily readings, and gave God a decent amount of time in prayer. so far so good today - still need to pray, but the usual time is before bed so im still on track.

God, in His awesome grace, mercy and power touched my heart in so many ways this evening i literally lost count. Renewed passion for worship, renewed passion for the lost, renewed passion for justice (BIGTIME on this one - Amos 5:21-24), renewed understanding of "giving everything to God" and also renewed way in which i approach things. managed to surrender my hot-headedness in favour of biting my tongue and praying. twice. in one evening. (is that a new record?)

Anyway, the point is this; God is so awesome its beyond contemplation - i'm trying to come up with some way to describe how im feeling right now as a result of what hes done over the last 6 hours and im drawing a blank.

night night.

C

Done Done Done!

2006-01-18T16:32:00.000Z

It's freakin finished!

I have successfully handed in my literature review! 50% of my dissertation is out of the way! God came thru - prayers were answered - what was i even stressed about??

even got it in 22 hours early. smugness.

right. I'm going to be good. i'm going to avoid all temptation to revise, and get down to some hardcore procrastintion.

revision starts tomorow - i need a break. in fact i need my bed. does anyone know if you have to get no sleep at all for it to qualify as insomnia - i'm averaging 2-3 hours sleep a night, with about 7 hours spent in bed... thats not healthy, right? hopefully it was the pressure of the essay, and i'll sleep ok now its handed in - i'm going to conduct some research right now in fact.

laters

C

Music...

2006-01-17T16:50:00.000Z

hmmm... it looks like my last post didn't work... maybe i dont understand this blogging thing as well as i had hoped. or maybe i clicked the wrong button. no matter, it was only a whinge about my work anyway.

anyway...

every couple of months, i am reminded at just HOW GOOD some classical music is. it normally happens during coursework time, which is when i have some on as background working music.

Don't get me wrong, i'm not exactly a connoisseur - i only own 2 cd's of "the best classical moments ever" and "the best of beethoven", along with a couple of Puccini operas. neither can I understand music like my housemates and dad can, but i've been struck with the passion that these composers manage to convey with this music. im currently listening to the glorious ninth at an obscenely loud volume, and the triumphal noise blowing out of my speakers has totally changed my mood today...

i freely admit that this type of music is not for me all (or even most) of the time, but it makes me wonder - what have we lost? music that has the potential to do this to a persons mood, to completely change the general feeling of a room, and to fill the air in a concert hall even when its being played fairly quietly surely stomps all over 'music' which contains lyrics like "zig-a-zig ahhh" and "wave your hands in the air like you just don't care"... when people can write a symphony about the concept of joy that brings tears to my eyes when im not even giving it my full attention, why is everything today about sex? I'm sure sex is great... but other subjects are far and away more powerful to create art about...

and while i'm on the subject, where is God in today's music scene? i not necessarily saying that we should be hearing Matt Redman on radio 1, but how many of our worship songs glorify God with at least a percentage of the grandure that He's due?

Listen to the Hallelujah Chorus sometime, i mean *really* listen to it - try and forget every time its been over-used, mis-used, parodied and so on, and listen to it freshly as a piece of worship music. there's a reason that King whoever-he-was got to his feet the first time he heard it. Its the same reason that i struggle to stay off my knees when i listen to it with that attitude.

back to work. damnit.

thought for the day: "there is nothing new under the sun" Ecclesiastes. we as a generation seem to be crediting ourselves with creating all this new worship music for the glory of God. ok it's new in the sense that no-one has written exactly that song before, but are we really pushing the boundaries of praise as much as we think we are? let's compare our generation's music with music by Handel, Vivaldi and Charles Wesley to name but a few worship leaders... is it possible that this groundbreaking praise music is actually getting more mundane in the long run? i wonder what the psalms would have sounded like in the Temple....

God bless... please feel free to comment and tell me if you think im wrong.

C

everything's working!

2006-01-14T20:53:00.000Z

ok, picture this: you have a 4000 word lit review to complete in 7 days. you havent started writing it. your research is shaky at best. you know you have to start working intensely hard very soon.

You sit down at your computer in the morning, ready to start work and suddenly everything goes to hell on the screen. congratulations Mr Whittaker, you have a worm! yay!!!!!

Not what i needed.

Fortunately computer-smashing urges were avoided, and i turned the bloody thing off and fled to the library, spending the next 2 days reading the research papers and hand-writing a plan. And then, this morning the Lord sent the answer to the frustrated, why-would-you-do-this-to-me-now prayers: in the form of Ian (who has henceforth earned the title of the greatest genius who has ever lived). after about 4 hours of doing clever things he cured my computer and - praise God! - i can work on my dissertation again!

in fact, to be totally honest, the work i got done in the library was really useful and may not have been so productive had i stuck here and tried to do it. maybe this is a case of - *gulp* dare i say it - God knowing better than me?

how long is it gonna take me to learn this lesson?

Anyway, God is good, my computer is fixed and i have a lot of words to write.

where's the coffee?

God Bless

C

Lost - the plot?

2006-01-12T00:19:00.000Z

those of you who know my TV watching habits will know that the only thing i MUST watch at the moment is Lost. actually almost everything else on TV i couldnt care less for. except maybe the odd simpsons episode and Gordon Ramsay show :-)

anyway, i've just sat through 2 fairly disappointing episodes of Lost - and these are supposed to be the season finale?

flashbacks of people getting on the plane? newsflash - we knew they were on the plane - thats how they got on the island! and how long did it take for them to get the dynamite from the ship to the hatch? i must have watched an eisode and a half of people walking through the jungle. not much impressed so far.

ok, so it was pretty cool when Walt was taken, but that makes for about 5 cool minutes in 2 hours. in fact, now i think of it, i havent been hugely impressed with Lost for a few weeks now.

Maybe this is the Lord confirming that i shouldn't have a TV when i finish uni - a fact i have suspected for a while now. i'm not even using my one for anything other than movies anyway, the communal one is the only one with an arial...

anyone wants a free TV let me know...

anyway, all i can say is i hope the second series starts off like the first one started... not like it finished.

serious lack of motivation

2006-01-12T00:09:00.000Z

Having gotten my previous essay in only 2 1/2 hours late yesterday, the focus shifts to my almighty mother-of-an-essay lit review... actually its only 4000 words, but it may as well be 40000 since i struggle with writing 2000. hmph. and its in for 8 days time. something tells me that the next week is going to be a little stressy... No matter. All will be over and done with soon...

Frustratingly enough though, its not just the work that i don't have motivation for - i can't seem to conjure up motivation for very much at all right now - reading my bible, praying, reading for pleasure, writing to people, and all kinds of other stuff... not that i was ever very good at any of this stuff, but right now i really can't get to grips with WANTING to do any of it... i just hope (and pray) that its a syndrome of having this much work, and nothing more long-lasting. cos it sucks.

Laughing gas in Brighton

2006-01-10T00:54:00.000Z

what an interesting weekend....

Saturday was a great day, i spent most of the day here not doing work, then had a really good evening with dan and andy in the house and then on to the terminal for hana's birthday and then.... convinced myself to go to Jesters.

For those of you who dont know, Jesters was voted the 2nd worst nightclub in the country (although the winner has now closed apparently) and every few months or so, i convince myself that going down there will be a good idea. i generally have a crap time, being surrounded by a heaving crowd of drunk students, unable to dance for flailing elbows and slipping in puddles of stale booze and (if you're lucky) vomit. i make it home swearing that i'll never go again, and then it takes me a few months to forget my oath and the whole process starts again.

Sunday... it was the christmas do for the bar i worked in until recently (bartenders have to celebrate christmas in january cos we're busy helping everyone else celebrate it in december ;-)) which consisted of : going to brighton, chilling during the day, on to Audio on the seafront for free booze all night and then to a free hotel to sleep it all off. flipping brilliant. i got introduced to the wonder that is laughing gas for recreational purposes in Audio - its quite a funny feeling actually - uncontrollable giggling with a tingly face for about thirty seconds, then back to normal. great fun! (and all legal - where has this been all my life?!!)

shame though - even though the company had put us up in a very chic hotel for the night, comfy beds, fluffy pillows and all that, i didnt sleep all that well due to red bull-induced nightmares. i must stop drinking things that kill me...

got back here monday afternoon, very tired and feeling fairly rough - needing to write about 2000 words for tuesday lunchtime. (by the way, its now after midnight and ive written less than 1000). and joy of joys, i've just found out that i wrote the wrong date in my diary and it was actually due in lunchtime today. oh dear. still, at least i can sleep now - i've already got a days penalty, which means i dont have to hand it in till 4pm tomorrow. which is why im blogging. it all makes sense in my head somewhere.

tara for now, send psychological thoughts my way

C

New Year's Resolution...

2006-01-07T01:38:00.000Z

So, if i believed in new year's resolutions, this would be my one for 2006: Start Blogging.

Maybe its in the vain hope that someone wants to read about my life...

Maybe its so i can get out of writing multiple emails and letters to keep in touch with people: "Just read my blog" (hmmh upturned eyebrows about how personal that may be, but at least i'll only have to write stuff once, and for someone as lazy as me, thats a definate plus)

Or maybe its so i can attempt to learn this complex and foreign language of the internet! (htmwhat??)

Either way, welcome to my blog, if i havent posted on it recently then email or text me pestering me to keep up with my new years resolution!

God Bless everyone

C